impertinences: (Default)
you're too young & eager to love

a liturgy

And I pray one prayer—I repeat it till my tongue stiffens—may you not rest as long as I am living! You said I killed you—haunt me, then! Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss where I cannot find you.

February 2024

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If all else perished ...

... and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.

Posts Tagged: 'character:+radomir'

Feb. 19th, 2024

impertinences: (a crimson future)
impertinences: (a crimson future)

half-savage & hardy & free

impertinences: (a crimson future)
Writing is a thing!

Which I have not done in MONTHS!

So, here's a little something, that may or may not be crap, but at least it's writing, ya know?

--

“My life was a storm, since I was born
How could I fear any hurricane?
If someone asked me at the end
I'll tell them put me back in it”




The water is warm and clear blue, unlike the sordid gray of the ocean, which stank of bottom-feeders and decay. The Brimgate Islands are known for this, of course–the idyllic points of paradise nestling within their lavender-colored groves, the secret waterfalls thundering into placid pools, the temperate breezes soothing the skin.

Augusta is unimpressed.

It is her typical state of being.

Radomir, however, appreciates the water gently flowing between his calloused palms, the beauty of the moment. Still, he is an intimidating man even here, submerged up to his waist, the sun warm on his scarred backs and shoulders. He’d shorn his hair for the journey, and the water runs down the sides of his face, clings to his eyebrows, his eyelashes, his mouth.

“You are a mountain creature,” Augusta says from the edge of the water, her legs half in the lake as she reclines on a mossy boulder. “You should be afraid of the water.”

Radomir runs a hand across the left side of his face, wiping away the wetness there. “What good am I to you if water scares me?”

“True. You are endlessly fearless, regardless of the terrain.”

He takes the compliment with a grin then shrugs in a mock-modest way. “If I am fearless, then you are terrifying.”

“The very essence of my appeal, no doubt.”



“Guest-right,” Augusta sneers, glancing over her shoulder at the two micipna the Magister had sent to accompany them on the day’s excursion. They wear the blue tattoos of their station on their arms, their necks, their wrists. The taller one has a peculiar mark below his right eye, almost a burn, except cerulean. They stay on the perimeter of the waterfall, stoic, silent, mute as dumb beasts awaiting an order, but she does not trust them.

“Guest-right is an ancient tradition. It dates back–”

She holds a hand up, cutting him off. “Don’t. I know the history lessons. Some traditions are worth leaving behind. This is why the Vries do not frequently have guests.”

He smirks. “You cannot assassinate your way through the world.”

“I can’t,” she says pointedly, and his laughter is a deep rumble from his chest.

“It is guest-right that protects us now, here.”

“It is the Vries name that protects us here. You do not start a political war by murdering a visiting diplomat from one of the most powerful families from the mainland. Guest-right is the veneer the Trifecta hide their fear behind. I am tired of these niceties.”

“Yet your brother still lives.”

Augusta rolls her eyes skyward. “Harrow’s own ineptitude will be his downfall. I cannot usurp him. Once he has finally shown his true colors and ruined Albtraum, I will prove myself.”



Her hair is a dark coil down the back of her shoulder, gathered into the intricate braids the wealthy women of the island wear to show their status. She is sun-kissed in the water, her usually pale skin turned golden by the afternoons in the sun, a flush of peach over the bridge of her nose and the curves of her shoulders. She is still young, no touch of silver in her hair, no fine lines near the corners of her eyes or mouth, but she has made herself sharp, like her brother, a woman of angles meant to cut. A blade.

When she stands in front of him, he is a whole head taller. Her hands skim his shoulders, feeling the old scars from his years in the fighting pits.

He must look down at her, but she is the one with the gaze of iron and steel. When she catches his face in one hand, her thumb digs into the tender spot below his chin. “Do you ever miss the fights?”

“I miss the noise sometimes. The waterfall sounds like the pounding of the stadium footsteps, the cheering. This island is too quiet. It’s all birdsong and chatter.”

“You were exhilarating to watch.” Her thumb traces the curve of his bottom lip. Not too long ago, his mouth had been hidden by the metal bars of a muzzle; emboldened now, he presses a kiss to the center of her palm when her hand passes across his mouth.

He does not know what to do with his hands now that she is in the water with him, as naked as he is, her silken dress the Magister had loaned her left on the side of the lake. She presses her hips into him, returns her hands to his shoulders, pushing her nails into the muscle there. She can feel his excitement between them, see the way his gaze is heavy with desire and shame and uncertainty. Slowly, as though she may be a viper about to strike, he moves his arms to circle her waist, the very tips of her hair touching the ends of his fingers against the small of her back.

She has to push herself to her toes in order to press her mouth to his thick jaw, near his ear. “Tell me about devotion.”

Augusta knows that he would bury himself in her if she would allow it. That his head would dip to her neck to breathe her in and he would lift her effortlessly, held by his strength and the water both, her legs coming to anchor around his waist. He would kiss her eyelids, her temples, dig his battle-born fingers into the strands of her braid and unwind them with the tenderness of a worshiper. He would show her his devotion if she did not insist on the words.

But because she has, he presses his forehead against hers, his voice pitched low, and he tells about the kind of loyalty that is born in chains. He talks about the scent of blood in the air and the feel of death between his palms and the taste of frenzy on his mouth and the many ways his violence took the shape of allegiance.

Aug. 28th, 2022

impertinences: (warm in my heart)
impertinences: (warm in my heart)

half-savage & hardy & free

impertinences: (warm in my heart)
I am back-posting Monday's AWS (which was more of a catch-up/work on a pre-existing piece since I had Internet issues) now.

This is my attempt at world-building, playing with limited POV, and creating dialogue. I give you the Brimgate Islands (a wasteland, warped version of where the Caribbean should be in today's time) and the Outgan Trifecta, which have a completely different view of shifters and culture compared to the Vries. Augusta goes on a diplomatic visit and does her thing.

to make a creature )

Dec. 24th, 2021

impertinences: (warm in my heart)
impertinences: (warm in my heart)

half-savage & hardy & free

impertinences: (warm in my heart)
Goodness gracious, I have not posted since June. Let's lessen this lapse.

This "piece" has been sitting, half-made, on my computer for months. I can't say I actually finished it. It's more of a bunch of random snippets/moments lumped together that, at some point, I was going to try to weave together into a cohesive piece but ... alas, the momentum has gone. I can't even remember my initial plans. Nonetheless, I cannot deprive the world of Augusta and Radomir!

where your world is me )

Oct. 21st, 2017

impertinences: (we'll see how brave you are)
impertinences: (we'll see how brave you are)

half-savage & hardy & free

impertinences: (we'll see how brave you are)
This thing upon me, howls like a beast
You flower, you feast
- “Woman”



His weight beneath her anchors Augusta in the moment, binding her sails and building her moorings. She feels almost child-like - a woman grown, tall as a willow, her body devoid of grace and molded into severe lines (the resulting aftermath of a life of trials and tribulations, of crossing into adulthood fully) - but she is made minuscule by Radomir's mountainous size. She is used to having control, to maintaining order, to fulfilling responsibilities; she's grateful for the freedom and comfort his body provides. It's refreshing, even if it doesn't change the fundamentals of their dynamic.  As if to further establish this point, Augusta's arms cage his head, her wrists locking behind his neck, mimicking the way her legs circle his waist. She has circled her way around him, as much as possible. If she leans down more, she'll find a shelf for her head in the shape of his shoulders and chest. If she arches too much, her oak-colored hair brushes the top of the Cadillac. 

They are a knot, insidiously twisted, and difficult to untangle. 

Radomir's heavy hands grip her hips. When she rocks down, grinding against the hard length of him, he holds her like she's the anchor instead of the ship. It makes her laugh, slick and needy, against his lips. 

Forehead pressing against hers, and in-between uttering a Slavic curse and a groan, Radomir asks her what's so funny. 

"Sometimes I think you forget what you're capable of," she tells him, trailing her palm from the nape of his neck to his jawline, feeling the scratch of the day's stubble against her skin.
 
Radomir grins, leaning back against the leather seats, spreading his arms out over their curves. "No. I never forget."

She quirks an eyebrow at him, her mouth a thin scar of a smirk, then nods briefly. "You're right." Her hand scalds him as she runs her fingers down his neck, deliberately traveling the length of his jugular, circling away from his heart as she traverses over his broad chest, burning lower and lower until she palms the outline of his hardness completely. He grunts, guttural, and looks at her from between half-lidded eyes. 

"Show me then," she says, licking the corner of his mouth. "Show me what you can do." 





Augusta could talk the devil into setting himself on fire. 

She could get into anyone’s brain – into their teeth as well as their ears. She could vibrate in the knot of nerves below the breastbone and seem to eat the damp and delicate tissue behind the eyes.

Radomir knows this. He has accepted it, has let himself be convinced by all her words and plans and promises, has even been enamored by it, but when he's deep inside of her, his hands buried in her hair, her body wet and yielding to him in all the ways he has often yielded for her, he wants to be the one who is silver-tongued and solid. He wants to lead as she follows. He wants to pave a path to a future where their footing is on equal ground, where he does more than guard her life, open her doors, and fuck her in secret. 

But then she catches his neck with one of her hands - hands that make him think of doves in their elegance and long-fingered poise - or her sweat leaves salt on his lips as he mouths the curve of her jaw and the desire to satisfy her, to be hers, battles with his urge to claim. 

Augusta is silk, spread beneath him, a leg curved over his hip, the other pinned down at the thigh and held open by his right hand. Her body is pressed against and into the Cadillac's back seats. The windows are fogged over. They're both sweating. She has a rope of pearls around her neck that glisten, sticking to her collarbone, the ends of her hair clinging to them. But she is still removed, still distant - he's only pushed up her skirt, only undone his trousers - and he's bracing his bulk above her, forced into the back of a car that suddenly feels like a coffin. His left hand had gripped the front seat for leverage and balance, but now he uses it to pluck at the matching pearl buttons of her blouse. Quick. Nimble. Too precise for a man whose history has covered his hands in blood. 

"Hold on," he murmurs, like his words are sticking to his tongue, then scowls when she groans with impatience. 

Augusta pushes her hands back through her hair, looking down at the progress he's making, inches of her skin slowly coming into sight as her blouse spreads open. "Radomir." There's a note of annoyance in the way she says his name - it's subtle, but he's been trained to notice it. 

"Augusta." He mimics, leaning down to kiss the tops of her breasts, his teeth dragging over the expensive lace of her bra. He guides the shirt off of her slowly, rolling it away from her shoulders, and feels her acquiesce when she arches up to help him. It slips from her arms, a snake shedding expensive skin. 

He curves a hand back, against her spine, and works the clasp of her bra next. When he moves to the line of buttons on the side of her hiked skirt, she huffs again. A simmer of anger from her mouth, disguised as a sigh. 

"Radomir," this time her tone is clearer - more obviously sharp, "we don't have time for this." 

"Why not?" he asks, the only part of him moving now his fingers at her hip. He's still inside of her, thrust to the hilt, but he is a creature of self-possession. 

She slaps him, her hand a viper. Three quick successions. His eyes flinch, but the crack of sound is louder than the pain. 

"No time," Radomir muses, feeling the sting of her nails. He lowers his eyes to her exposed chest, to the slender inward curves of her waist, his hand rubbing the buttons of her skirt now, feeling their worth. 

He seems reflective - humbled - so Augusta is surprised when he looks her squarely in the eyes. 

"Do you have time to undress for your brother?" The impudence is more in his eyes and the smirk his mouth makes than in his voice. That he keeps even and low. 

Although she considers it, Augusta decides to answer him earnestly rather than make him apologize. "No.” She uses her slapping hand to run her thumb over his full bottom lip, her nail scratching at the corner where his smirk is the most evident. “… and I don't fuck him in the backseat of cars either."

"Where then?" He undoes a button.

"Where I bury my skeletons."

Another button loosens, and now he can unwrap her fully, smoothing away the fabric to feel the way her thighs shiver and how her bones battle with her waist. He hums his understanding and dips his head to kiss her neck.

Slowly, ignoring the time she cherishes, he starts to move. He thrusts deeply, one hand at her hip, one arm curling around her lower back to pull her up and closer to where their bodies are joined. Augusta drags her nails across his shoulder, hooking her leg further behind him.





They fuck into dusk. Until Augusta’s skin is slick with sweat and flushed from her toes to the crown of her dark head. Until Radomir’s breathing hitches and his blood stutters in his veins.

She has crawled on top of him in the low-light, the muscles in her thighs straining, her fingers trembling. She mirrors how they began – arms around his neck, legs caging his waist – and his hands cup her ass. She rocks above him, chasing her rising crescendo.

When she comes, she bites his shoulder, stifling the cry torn from her mouth. Radomir, never the nosiest of fucks, groans with pride.

Augusta nuzzles into the side of his neck, contended.

“What does Hatchet sound like?” The question settles along his throat and constricts like a noose.

Radomir wonders how long she’s been waiting to ask. He runs his hands over her back, counting the notches in her spine. Augusta laughs, breathy, at his silence. She nips his earlobe. “Did you think I didn’t know? What you do when you aren’t with me.”

“I am always with you,” he says, “even when I am not.”

“How romantic.” She knocks her knuckles against his heart.

Even though she’s patronizing him, he kisses her – long and deep - satiating himself.

Augusta presses her fingers to his mouth. “Are we done here?”

He nods. When she slides from him, the sudden loss of her is a void.






Radomir leans against the side of the Cadillac in the darkness as Augusta dresses. He smokes a cigarette, watching the horizon. There’s a clutter of brush along the seaside. Come fall, most of it will probably be dead, but now the branches bear leaves and makes it hard to see the crashing waves. A narrow dirt road, scattered with sand, curves back towards the city. Traffic will be light he thinks, and pitches his cigarette to the ground.

In the night, Augusta can hardly make out anything. She adjusts the fall of her necklace and pins her hair carefully using the rearview mirror. Her blouse sticks to her skin and her skirt is wrinkled, but her strict spine and sharp gaze are enough to make her look composed. She touches her swollen mouth and smiles before knocking on the window.

Radomir grips the steering wheel once he slides into the driver’s seat.

“I could kill him,” he says.

Augusta lights her own cigarette, following the train of his thought easily. She speaks around the smoke in her mouth. “It isn’t him I want you to kill.”

They look at each other, and Radomir says nothing (except with his eyes, and Augusta can read them easily, can see the way pain and obligation twist him up like a tourniquet, can see, too, how quickly his love for her outweighs his devotion to any other). He starts the engine, one hand falling to the gear shift, the other balancing on the wheel. Augusta places her hand on top of his, tracing the lines of his veins above his knuckles.

Jul. 20th, 2017

impertinences: (at your expense)
impertinences: (at your expense)

half-savage & hardy & free

impertinences: (at your expense)
Hello, journal! It's been so loooooonngg. I blame my descent into the world of fanfiction.

It feels good to return to my babies though. 3500 words - woohoo!

The novel I'm reading right now uses multiple spaces to separate sections of a chapter, but the author also capitalizes the first few words of each section. I stole that stylistic choice. I always worry about how many spaces I use for separation and whether or not aesthetically it works, so the added formatting helps me visually. /random

Title/text at the beginning comes from a Halsey song, of all things.

you're a masterpiece )

Oct. 3rd, 2016

impertinences: (Default)
impertinences: (Default)

half-savage & hardy & free

impertinences: (Default)
Originally, this was going to be a 3-part piece where I contrasted different characters' relationships in the Wasteland universe. I only wrote the first part though, and I can't seem to gather enough steam to do the other two parts. I'm hoping to come back to them eventually.

But here we go!


--



What’s left, if you take away love?
Just brutality. Just shame. Just ferocity. Just pain.
- Margaret Atwood




“Please,” he says, the word a hot iron coal in his thick mouth, searing his skin as he spits it out.

Augusta hates his mouth – the full lips that remind her of her father’s pit bull terriers, her father’s feared hounds, and the association it causes between beasts and dumb brutes – as much as she loves its talents. She stares at him in the darkness of her compound suite, at his mouth which has shaped such an ugly plea, and cannot pull compassion from her heart.

“What did you say?”

“Augusta, please. We should leave, tonight, now.”

She scoffs, turning her narrow body towards him, this giant, hulking, monster of a man. One of her thin eyebrows arches; her hand is on her hip, the withering moonlight from the open window catching all of her sharpness. For a moment, in the second before she acts, she thinks of her brother. Harrow who bought a serpent from across the western seas. Harrow who created a striker when he was hardly even a man. But Augusta has no need of whips or poison-fanged shifters. She strikes with her own hand, a rapid white blade that launches from her hip and lands across Radomir’s solid jaw.

She has to roll up onto her toes to bridge the distance between their heights, to sink her nails into his skin. The scratch of his stubble its own kind of brand. The stoic press of his shoulders tightening beneath his shirt, the way his eyebrows draw together in shame, its own kind of devotion.

“Since when do you decide what’s best for us?” she asks.

All his great strength has shriveled. Radomir is still standing, the slap of her palm inconsequential for its meager pain, but the denouncement alone is a burden heavy enough to make him wilt. She can see it in all of his small gestures, his body’s miniscule responses that betray him, his coiled rage and grief that is always just below the surface, shimmering up into his dark eyes during his best and weakest moments. Another man might as well be crying.

“… I thought you-”

“What? I can’t hear you.”

He clears his throat and ducks his eyes. Augusta can feel the weight of his gaze settle on her ankles. “I thought you valued my opinion, Minister.”

She steps away and curls into the solid weight of a high-backed chair. She is still dressed for dinner. Her brother is a knife wrapped in a suit; she is often the same, hiding her feminism in more masculine fashions. The fabric of her dark cigarette pants heightens the razor cut of her body. Her plum silk blouse sleeveless and leaving her finely muscled arms naked. There is nothing descriptive about her – no silver trinkets dangling from her wrists or diamonds claiming her fingers. Her hair is brushed free and dark, left to spread down her shoulders like molasses, to slip and stick to her collarbones. Even her mouth is bare, lips a girl’s shade of pink, but the curl of her smile is more beguiling and capable of cruelty. Radomir knows what she looks like, has memorized all the details, but he keeps his eyes on her feet where he is least likely to offend her with the heat of his gaze.

She stretches out one leg. The patent leather of her flat ending in a sharp point aimed directly at him. “Maybe I do … on good days, when you remember your place.”

Radomir does not drop. He is too graceful, too familiar with his large gait. He slinks to his knees instead, like a dog with its tail between its legs, and catches her foot between his powerful hands. She pushes her shoe into his chest before he slips the flat off and digs his fingers into her high arch. He does the same with the left, turning his head into the bridge of her foot, ghosting his mouth across the skin.

Augusta sighs, the softest sound she is capable of. The sound of a butterfly taking flight. “Why should we leave? I thought you weren’t afraid of anything.”

He kneels in front of her, her feet warm in his lap, and continues to drag his fingers from her ankles to the bottom of her calves where the muscles are tight. He has almost forgotten the slap from earlier. “I don’t trust it here. Something is different. Harrow is … unwound. Irrational. His eyes are bloodshot all the time now. His anger palpable.”

It’s true. Harrow had, until now, always possessed an egotism and narcissism thick enough to deflect any of her best barbs, as he had always sidestepped and circumvented her attempts to usurp his place within the family hierarchy. But the curl of his hand against his whiskey glass over dinner, the glare of his unfocused eyes, his half-hearted wit and hurricane-level anger were all the defense mechanisms of a dying wolf. He had lost more than his swan when she’d fled across the dessert, and not even her triumphant return had restored what her disgrace had taken from him.

Augusta shrugs, shoulders thin, bones cleaving against her skin. “Perhaps he senses the fall of an empire. The rise of a new era.”

“Wounded animals become the most vicious.”

Slowly, she pulls her legs from his grasp, bringing them to her chest, until her body curls into a fist. He is still on his knees, and she sits high above him. “Well, if something happens to me, I’ll know who to blame, won’t I?”

Radomir nods. He stands when she does. He helps her undress, his fingers soft against her skin, careful with her clothing, and they don’t speak anymore. He waits until she falls asleep, her long back turned away from him in the darkness, and then he shifts.

His eyes golden and fierce beside the bed.

Dec. 30th, 2015

impertinences: (I can't claim innocence)
impertinences: (I can't claim innocence)

half-savage & hardy & free

impertinences: (I can't claim innocence)
New piece. A piece piece. An actual cohesive, looks a bit like a short story piece. Yesssss.

3088 words. Woohoo!

mounts her lion )

Oct. 10th, 2015

impertinences: (we'll see how brave you are)
impertinences: (we'll see how brave you are)

half-savage & hardy & free

impertinences: (we'll see how brave you are)
This is so pointless. But whatever, I haven't posted anything in ages.


--



It is her birthday, so Radomir hands her a nondescript box before they begin to cross the desert. There is nothing ceremonious about it except for the sharp edges; Augusta wonders, with amusement, whether or not he used it to file his teeth. She has a fleeting moment where she wishes she could find this gesture of his equally amusing, but she can feel her emotions beginning to simmer beneath her skin. It is an uncomfortable kind of heat. She, like her father, is not prone to sentimentality.

She can feel his eyes on her as she opens the box, disregards the red velvet lining inside, and plucks out the heavy silver cuff. The metal is polished with care but there are hand-made dents in the design, intentional, and lovely. A thick, wide square fills the center of the cuff, and Augusta raises an eyebrow when she realizes that he has given her a watch rather than a bracelet.

It fits snugly around her left wrist. The design is masculine. She appreciates that.

Radomir straightens his shoulders when Augusta finally graces him with a gaze. “So you might remember to return to me, from time to time.” He explains.

“And since when do I adjust my schedule to accommodate you?”

He laughs, a sound as thick as thunder, and she finds herself smiling at the corners of her mouth (where it hurts the least).



Augusta Reinhardt, to the minds of most, is older, matronly. A thick-necked soldier crammed into the body of a woman. A severe militarist, like her father, and even colder than her brother. No one ever mentions, in all of their talk, that she is so slight. Tall, yes, especially for a woman, but thin and delicate in the wrists and ankles. If wounds could walk, then Augusta would be one. Wrapped in heavy coats, sand-layered from her journey across the desert, she surprises the men and women of the compound when she appears for the official celebratory dinner in a blue and lavender dress that show the backs of her fine calves, low-slashed neckline revealing her straight cut body, as sinless as a prepubescent boy’s. Her arms are thin and her hair is caught in a thick plait down her back.

She offers her hand to Roman, who kisses the back of her small knuckles with all his usual charm, gaze lingering on the heavy cuff shackled to her wrist. “You are here. We heard rumors of rebels in the crossing between the mountains. Harrow was concerned, especially considering you are our honored guest tonight. Happy Birthday, Minister.”

Augusta’s smile blooms naturally, but it is devoid of any authentic warmth. Her amber eyes glint. “There was some minor trouble. We are wounded but not slain, aren’t we, Radomir?”

Three steps off, Radomir responds with a noncommittal noise. His height and width devour the shadow Augusta casts behind her. He has not changed from the journey. There is sand in his short-shorn hair, on his eyelashes, in the callouses of his palms.

Sliding her arm into the crook of Roman’s elbow, the propagandist leans close to her brother’s favorite. “Tell Harrow to forego the cake in favor of rare filets. Assassination attempts always bring out our appetite.”